Be Happy, It's Adar!

And I'm not just saying that, that's an instruction directly from the Mishnah.

On Purim we celebrate mistaken identity, madcap antics, absurd twists, heroes, villains, fools, chance, and of course salvation. Did it all really happen? Well… we do know that the Scroll of Esther was written around the year 330 B.C.E.* and that there's been plenty of evidence in each direction. It sure does make for a great story though, which upon closer look makes for a study in Jewish life throughout history.

When I was in elementary school, once a year we had "Backwards Day!" when we wore our clothes backwards and we had a lot of fun insisting that "yes" meant "no" and so on. This is Purim. In honor of all all the crazy twists of the story and the big dramatic ending where the Jewish people manage to reverse their ill fate (They not only save the day for themselves but wreak havoc on their enemies instead), we get nutty, dress in costumes, and basically behave in the opposite way that we're supposed to.

Here are the four basic mitzvot to be fulfilled on Purim:

1. Listen to the Megillah reading - or a crazy version of it called a Purimspiel performed in local synagogues everywhere on the 13th of Adar, Purim Eve.
2. Give gifts of food to friends called mishloach manot.
3. Give tzedakah to the poor.
4. Eat a great festival meal.

The last three of the mitzvot come directly from the story of Esther. You'll see them when you get to the very end.

Purim is definitely one of the most boisterous and fun holidays of the year. As usual, the way we celebrate is related directly to the story, and we party like it's 330 B.C.E.

*"Teaching Jewish Holidays" by Robert Goodman, A.R.E.

The basic ingredients for a proper Purim celebration on the 14th of Adar include:

How We Read the Story
The Megillah is read or the Purimspiel is performed on the 13th of the Jewish month, Adar, Purim Eve, and then again during the day on the 14th. Often congregations create elaborate and hilarious spiels that parody another play, movie, musical, or theme. The reasoning behind this is along the same line as for our costume masquerades. *Click here for sources on Purim Parodies and humor*. Your youngest children certainly will hear a different version of this animated tale than the older kids and the congregation listening to the M'gillah. At the nursery school and early elementary school age, we focus on the characters. Just like the characters in a classic Disney movie, they are silly and extreme, either very good or very evil. Click here for M'gillah talking points for your youngest children. Older children and adults will be much more captivated by this dramatic and colorful story if they get a look at the real thing. Open up the nearest Tanach. The third section, the Writings, includes a bunch of other interesting books, as well as four other m'gillot and stunning poetry. Here you will find, M'gillat Esther. If you haven't read it before, I highly encourage you to check it out! It's a racy tale full of twists and turns, a real page-turner (or "scroll-roller," as it were). And the truth is, there is a lot more to the story than what we teach our children at Sunday School. Click here for my version of it, "That's How We Roll."

DID YOU KNOW that when reading the Megillah, the Talmud tells us to pronounce the names of the ten sons of Haman in one breath, indicating their simultaneous death? Also the congregation should read certain verses about Mordechai's triumph, aloud with the reader.

Authority to Cross Dress
We dress up in costumes to honor the hidden and mistaken identities as well as the ironic twists throughout the story. For example, Esther does not reveal her identity as a Jew until the very end. And then there's the time when Haman proposes a reward ceremony for himself when the king is really talking about Mordechai. With your children, see if you can spot the "backwards" elements in the story. Look for the contradictions, the foiled plots, the reversals of fortune and the changes in identity.

DID YOU KNOW that some say that Mordechai hid his ability to speak all of the world's languages? This allowed him to understand Bigthan and Teresh when they were plotting to kill the king.

Rash Rash RASH!
We don't just dress up, we make A LOT of noise!! ("Rash" is Hebrew for "noise") Usually when we are in the synagogue we're required to observe at least some level of decorum. But not on Purim! Here's why we make so much noise: Haman is a descendent of Israel's perma-enemy, the Amalakites. It was a custom to blot out the name of our enemies with noise. To this day, some people write our enemy's name on the bottom of their shoes and stomp it out whenever the name is read aloud. So, when we hear the name of Haman (I can't even type it without stopping to hear the "boo!") we scream and boo and hiss and rattle and twist our groggers or ra-ashanim to our hearts' content right there in the synagogue!

DID YOU KNOW that Haman's name occurs 54 times throughout Megillat Esther?

In the fairy tales, it's easy to see the evil that needs to be stamped out. What about in our world? About what do you want to stand up and make some noise? Purim is the perfect time to talk with your children about standing up for your beliefs. Consider what injustice or impression you want to stamp out today. Talk about what our role is in the world events around us. In what ways can you and your family stamp out what you believe to be unfair? Locally, globally?

100 bottles of Shlivovitz On the Wall
It is actually a mitzvah for the grown-ups to get drunk on Purim! Of course there has been plenty of debate and it's clear that this part of the holiday celebration is not to be abused. Rather, it should be done safely. That said, here is the mitzvah part: The Talmud tells us (Megillah 7b) that one should drink on Purim until she can no longer distinguish between the phrases, "Arur Haman" ("Cursed is Haman!") and "Baruch Mordechai" ("Blessed is Mordechai!") To this day in Tel Aviv they call their Purim parade, "Adloyada," (Ad lo yada - Till one doesn't know).
One more fun little tid bit. According to Gematria, or Hebrew numerology, these phrases have the same numerical value and some authorities have ruled that one should drink until she is unable to calculate the numerical values.

Hop Mein Homentashn
Our heroes, Mordechai and Esther, put a big emphasis on giving gifts and tzedakah on Purim. There is a custom now of sending gifts, in Hebrew "mi-SHLO-ach ma-NOT" which are usually a small basket of foods like home-made hamantashn, fruits, and candies. Learn more about hamentashn here. The Purim story is about a time of great threat when our ancestors hid their identity for survival. However they also found a way to stand up for who they were, and through this, they were redeemed. This is our Jewish way of making the world right. In celebration of this triumph, we pay special attention to the joy of gift giving as well as the necessary work we must do to help those less fortunate.

To whom can you and your family give a gift of appreciation? Stamp out injustice this year by giving tzedakah. Make a donation to a cause important to you.

Join the Purim fun! You can find here many many many costume projects. Click on any of the images below to download a pdf to print out.

Have fun, and don't forget to send pictures!

make this make this make this make this make this make this

It's very important to make a lot of RASH RASH RASH!! on Purim. That means, that at the right moments, making as much noise as possible will actually change the world. Here are a few noise maker projects:

Make your own Tambourine

Make your own Kazoo

Make your own Grogger

How silly can you get?!?!?!?!

Are you ready to make some serious costumes and noise makers? Here we go…

COSTUME PIECES   and NOISE MAKERS

Full color queen mask

Full color king mask

Create your own mask and choose
Eyes
Mouths
Eye-Glasses
Hat
Tiara or Crown
Wig
Beard

Make your own moustache

Make a 3-pointed Haman Hat

Design a Crown or a Very Very Silly Hat

Design a Beautiful Eye-Mask

Make a Shaker

Make a Tambourine

Make a Krazy Kazoo

Your youngest children certainly will hear a different version of this
animated tale than the older kids and the congregation listening to the
M'gillah. At the nursery school and early elementary school age, we
focus on the characters. Just like the characters in a classic Disney
movie, they are silly and extreme, either very good or very evil.

• Vashti doesn't want to be a clown for King Achashverosh. She says, "No!"
• Haman has a bad temper and wants everything done his way.
• The king sometimes doesn't pay attention to what's going on in his kingdom.
• Queen Esther is brave, and even though she is very afraid, she stands up for her people.

In addition to getting to know these fun characters, a particularly meaningful Purim tradition is the giving of gifts. When I was a child, I remember delivering small baskets of goodies to my neighbors. What fun!

• We celebrate the happy ending of this story by giving gifts to our friends and helping out those who don't have enough.

Chapter 1
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a Persian king who ruled from India all the way to Ethiopia. His royal pad was in the fortress of Shushan. There was one thing for which this king was famous, and it was his partying. This guy could go for months with nothing but a disco ball and vat of good royal wine. His name was Achashverosh. Most of the people with whom he partied were so drunk they couldn't even pronounce his name.
King Achashverosh had been partying straight for 180 days. He had all the big names there, and he had all the big games. The Persian version of Wii, Xbox, iMax, iMacs…You name it, he had it all. There was one official rule everyone had to follow at this party: There are NO RULES! Do anything you want and as much of it as you want. It's good to be the king, huh.
Excited to show off every last bit of his wealth, Achashverosh decided to enjoy a final Seven-Day Party Blowout for everyone in Shushan. The royal decorators went to town draping everything with gold. The royal winemakers prepared enough drink that no one would go thirsty for a second. On the last day, when the king and his friends barely could touch their fingers to their noses, Achashverosh felt it would be a good time to bring in his hot-stuff queen, Vashti. He ordered Mehuman, Bizzetha, Harbona, Bigthan, Abagtha, Zethar and Carcas (the seven royal eunuchs) to bring in the gorgeous Queen Vashti wearing nothing but the royal diadem. (Know what a diadem is? Google Image it!) But Vashti was having her own party, and she wasn't thrilled at the idea of appearing before a house full of the king's rowdy friends. So, possibly for the first time in history, this queen said, "NO." The king was like, "WHAT? You can't say no to me!" So he fired her on the spot. She was booted from the kingdom that very day. And then, worried that the queen's behavior would be a bad influence on wives everywhere, he sent out a royal edict and created a new law to ensure that all wives, high and low alike, would treat their husbands with respect.

Chapter 2
Soon after, the king's advisors suggested that it was time to get a new queen. "Bring in young virgins from near and far. Let's have a beauty contest right here in Shushan," they said. "Give them tons of makeup and plenty of time to prepare themselves. Then you can choose whichever one you like the best."
Sounded good to the king! And he sent out the order immediately.
In the town of Shushan there lived a Jew by the name of Mordechai. He had adopted his uncle's daughter (I guess that makes her his second cousin) after her mother and father died. Esther grew up to be quite an enchanting beauty, and she too was brought to the palace to enter the beauty contest. When she got there, the head eunuch, Hegai took a liking to her and gave her all of the best makeup and hair products. Esther was truly beautiful, but she didn't speak about herself much because Mordechai instructed her not to tell anyone that she was Jewish. In fact, Mordechai started hanging out by the palace gates just to keep an eye on her. Inside the palace, the beauty contestants spent an entire year preparing to go before the king: six months with oil of myrrh and six months with cosmetics and perfumes.
Finally it was Esther's turn to go before the king. It took all night but the contest was over; he loved her right from the start. Achashverosh placed the royal diadem on her head, and it was time for another party. Now, it just so happened that this same night, Mordechai was hanging out by the palace gates and overheard two of the guards talking. Bigthan and Teresh were angry about something, and they were plotting to kill the king! Mordechai told Queen Esther. Queen Esther turned them into the king in Mordechai's name. The two guards were impaled on stakes, and it all was recorded in the diaries of the court.

Chapter 3
All was good at the palace of Achashverosh, life as usual until new advisor…HAMAN!!…rose to the top of the king's list and became the top gun. The king ordered everyone to bow down before HAMAN. But guess who refused to bow? You know it, Mordechai! "I'm Jewish!" He explained. "Everyone knows that we don't bow down before people, only before God." Now HAMAN had no patience for it. He was practically manic, and he just about lost his mind over this. And off course, HAMAN was the kind of guy who takes revenge on the whole family. So, rather than planning a punishment for dear Mordechai the Jew, HAMAN plotted to do away with the entire Jewish people.
One night, HAMAN went before the king and in a dastardly, bad-guy kind of a sneaky way proclaimed, "There are a certain people, scattered throughout your land who don't obey your laws. I don't think it's in your best interest to tolerate these… these… people." And then HAMAN grinned a nasty, sort of eyebrow-raising, twisted bad-guy grin, and he suggested that Achashverosh destroy this nuisance of a people. He even offered a certain large sum of hard cash to help pay for it. It didn't take much to convince the king, who probably wasn't paying much attention to begin with, and the order was sent out across the land. Written instructions were dispatched by couriers to all of the king's provinces: "On the 13th of Adar, destroy, massacre and exterminate all the Jews-young and old, children and women! Plunder their possessions!" This letter was to be displayed publicly to all the people so they would be ready when the day came.
And wouldn't you believe it, HAMAN and the king sat down to a feast that very night. The city of Shushan was dumbfounded.

Chapter 4
It wasn't long before Mordechai heard all about it. He made his way to the palace, all the way wailing and crying out bitterly. He tore his clothes, as was (and still is for some people) the fashion to express mourning. All throughout the land, Jewish people joined him in fasting, weeping and wailing.
Mordechai sent word to Esther that she must intervene on behalf of all the Jews. He told her about HAMAN's evil plan and the bribe offered to the king. He even showed her a copy of the notice. He insisted that she go before the king and plead with him for her people. But Esther was absolutely petrified. She reminded Mordechai about that awful law stating that if anyone tried to talk to or even approach the king without being summoned, without the king extending his royal scepter, he or she would be put to death. And Esther hadn't seen that royal scepter for 30 days.
This response did not please Mordechai. "Don't, for a second, think that just because you're the queen you'll escape with your life." And then he took it a step further. "On the contrary! If you stay silent, then someone else will step in to help, and you and your father's name will perish. Who knows?" Mordechai continued, "Maybe it was meant to be. Maybe you won the queenly beauty contest for just this purpose!"
This seemed to convince her. She sent word back to Mordechai, "Gather all of the Jews who live in Shushan and fast on my behalf. Don't eat or drink for three days and three nights! My maidens and I will do the same. Then I'll go to the king even though it's against the law. And if I die, then well, I die!"

Chapter 5
Esther dressed up in the hottest outfit she could put together and presented herself before the king. Luckily, as soon as he laid eyes upon her, he called her into the throne room. He extended the golden scepter, which he held in his hand, and she touched the tip of it. "What's up Esther? What can I do for you?" asked the king lightheartedly. To the king's delight, Esther invited him and HAMAN to a wine-tasting party! And that night they attended the party. After a few hours of royal wine tasting, Achashverosh asked again if there was anything her heart desired. She asked only that he and HAMAN come again the next night to a second party. "Of course we'll be there!" The king was pretty psyched about his new queen. She seemed to really understand him.
As you can imagine, HAMAN was feeling pretty good about himself. "The queen loves me!" He thought. "She can't get enough of me!" He was feeling so good that when he passed by the palace gates and saw Mordechai the Jew, who of course didn't even lift his left pinky to acknowledge the great HAMAN and certainly didn't do any bowing, HAMAN decided to let it go. Instead he grinned his awful smirky, bad-guy grin, rubbed his hands together and laughed that terrible, evil bad-guy laugh. HAMAN went home to his wife and 10 sons. He bragged about how popular he was with the queen. He was still a little annoyed about Mordechai until his dear wife, Zeresh, suggested that he put up a tall stake and have the king impale Mordechai on it first thing in the morning. That way, he would have nothing to worry about and could enjoy the queen's prestigious invitation. This sounded just perfect to HAMAN, and he had the stake put up that night.

Chapter 6
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was too many french fries, but that night the king could not fall asleep. So he did what anyone would do, he had someone read him the most boring, sleepy nighttime story he could think of, the town of Shushan's record book. There it was found that Mordechai the Jew had helped capture Bigthan and Teresh, two of the king's guards who had plotted to do away with the king. Remember?
"Well, well, well!" said the king. "Did we do anything to thank this guy? Did we send him a gift basket or something?" As it turned out, nothing had been done yet to thank and honor Mordechai. "Who's around the court?" asked the king. He didn't like to make any decisions on his own. And it just so happened that who should be entering the court at that moment but HAMAN! (The evil advisor was on his way to ask the king about having Mordechai impaled on the stake the next morning.)
"Oh fantastic, so glad to see you!" said the king. "You can help me out here. What would you do for a man that the king wishes to honor?" Now, HAMAN obviously assumed that the king was talking about him! "Who would the king want to honor more than me?" he thought to himself.
"Ah yes, good question," answered HAMAN. "Have your top royal courtier prepare some royal clothing that you yourself have worn and a royal horse wearing a royal crown, a horse upon which you yourself have ridden. Dress up this man who is to be honored in the royal clothing and parade him around town on the royal horse while everyone shouts out, ‘Hooray! Hooray!'"
"Sounds good to me," said the king. "Get the clothes and the horse and do everything you suggested for that guy Mordechai the Jew. You know him? He hangs out by the palace gates. Don't leave anything out!"
Oh boy! HAMAN's face never had been redder. He ran home to tell his wife what happened. She told her husband, "You know if this guy Mordechai is really from Jewish stock, you don't stand a chance." But there was nothing he could do about it now; he already was late for the queen's second party.

Chapter 7
So the king and HAMAN attend Queen Esther's second party. Once again the king asked her if there was anything at all he could do for her. This time, she had a plan. "If it pleases you, Your Majesty, I ask only for my life and the life of my people, for we have been sold, my people and I, to be destroyed, massacred and exterminated!"
"WHAT? Who would … *&%$#… do such a thing?" The king was shocked!
"The evil, evil man behind the plan is…HAMAN!" shouted Queen Esther. And then everything happened very fast. HAMAN jumped in surprise and terror. The king was so angry that he left the party momentarily for a breather in the palace garden. HAMAN threw himself on Queen Esther's lap to plead with her for his life, and just then, King Achashverosh returned to the banquet hall.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" shouted the king. "Not only are you plotting to destroy my queen, but first you're going to ravish her here in front of my nose?!" HAMAN turned a pale shade of green.
Then Queen Esther's favorite eunuch spoke up saying, "What's more, there's a tall stake standing by his house, which HAMAN made for Mordechai the Jew, the man who saved the king!"
The decision took no time. "Impale him on it," the king ordered. And so they impaled HAMAN on the very stake that HAMAN had put up for Mordechai. And the king felt much better.

Chapter 8
That very night, Esther finally presented her cousin Mordechai to the king, explaining why she had hidden her true identity from the start. King Achashverosh, much calmer now that his problem had been resolved, decided to make Mordechai his new top adviser. Mordechai took over all that belonged to Haman. There was just one problem for the Jews that still remained. Remember that Haman had convinced the king to send out a royal decree stating that on the 13th of Adar all Jews were to be destroyed. Well, once a law like that is made, no one can change it! So, Esther once again went bravely before the king and asked that a new royal decree be sent. This one would counter the first and give the Jews permission to get together on that day and fight for their lives.
And so it was done. Mordechai drafted a new decree that was sent out to all of the king's provinces from India to Ethiopia, to every province in its own script and to every people in their own language. It was signed by the king and dispatched on the royal horses bred of the royal stud.
The new public notice read: The king has permitted the Jews of every city to assemble and fight for their lives. If any people or province attacks them, all Jews, including women and children, may destroy, massacre and exterminate the attacking forces and plunder their possessions. This would be allowed on a single day in all the provinces of King Achashverosh, namely on the 13th of Adar.
It was a perfect reversal of the original decree.
Throughout the land, Jews rejoiced and threw their own big party. For the first time, they felt safety and happiness. Some of their neighbors even professed to be Jewish because they saw how powerful and honored the Jewish people were.

Chapter 9
As time went on, Mordechai became more powerful in the palace. People everywhere revered and feared him. And so, on the 13th of Adar when the enemies of the Jews had expected to finish them off once and for all, the exact opposite happened. Throughout the provinces, Jews assembled in their cities to attack anyone who tried to hurt them. No one could withstand them. The Jews wreaked havoc on their enemies, slaying and destroying. And here it just gets gorier. On that day, the 13th of Adar, the Jews killed 500 men in Shushan alone. They also slew Parshandatha, Dalphon, Aspatha, Poratha, Adalia, Aridatha, Parmashata, Arisai, Aridai and Vaizatha-the 10 sons of Haman.
"What more could you wish for, my beloved queen?" asked King Achashverosh.
"That my people can gather again tomorrow, on the 14th of Adar, as they did today, and that 10 stakes will be built for the 10 sons of Haman," she answered.
And so it was done. The sons of Haman were impaled the next day while the Jews of Shushan killed another 300 men. Outside of Shushan, the Jews also gathered to fight their enemies. All together around 75,000 men were slain. Afterwards, the Jews rested, partied, and gave gifts to their friends.
Mordechai and Esther declared the 13th and 14th of Adar a national holiday, and every year afterwards, on the same day and the same month, they would mark the time when life was transformed from grief and mourning to festive joy. Jews everywhere would celebrate with a joyous feast, as well as by giving gifts to their neighbors and presents to the poor.

Chapter 10
King Achashverosh, Queen Esther and Mordechai lived happily ever after! All is recorded in a long scroll.

The Whole Megillah - A Purim Rap
by Steve and Doug Cotler ©2001
www.dougcotler.com

Listen, listen, listen to this ancient story.
It's a little bit funny and a little bit gory.
It's a little bit scary and little bit tense.
It's a crazy, mixed-up series of events.

It starts with a king who was not too sharp.
You might say he was a few strings short of a harp.
You might say he was a tricked by an evil man
With a nasty, filthy, dirty plan.

Now the bad guy would have killed the Jews,
If the heroes hadn't stood up and said, "You lose!"
If the heroes hadn't stopped him,
tell the Jews good-bye,
Sayonara, adios, everyone's gonna die,
Kick the bucket, buy a ticket to a place in the sky
The heroes were Esther and Mordechai

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

Mort was Esther's uncle. She became the king's wife,
>From orphan to queen where she risked her own life.
She set the record straight, told the king what was true,
Told the king what was shaking, told him what to do.

And the villain who had puffed himself up so tall
Learned the higher you fly, the farther you fall.
Like a rock down a well, he was dead and gone.
But I haven't even started and I'm rambling on.

So let me take you back to the ancient days,
To the kingdom of Persia with its ancient ways,
To the palace of the king, Achasveros by name
Who was eating and drinking and feeling no pain,
Cause he ruled from India to Ethiope,
Not bad for a guy who was such a dope.

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

Drunk and stupid and looking for a grin
He yelled, "Hey Vashti, let's see some skin!"
But the queen refused. "I'm not dancing nude
For you or your buddies. You are way too crude!
No bump, no grind, no jitterbug jig
Especially for a royal male chauvinist pig."

Now the king would've let the whole matter drop
But his buddies said, "This has got to stop."
"If you let that woman disobey what you say
Then all of our wives'll wanna act the same way.

So he dissed her,
Dismissed her,
Brought her down
And staged a Miss Persia pageant all over town,
A beauty contest to pick a new queen
And that's how Esther came on the scene.

But here's where the plot gets a little bit screwish…
On Uncle Mort's advice she doesn't say that she's Jewish

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

With Esther as Queen, the king settles down.
But something is rotten in Shushan town.
A couple of hoods with a grudge or two
Decide to assassinate the King. Boo-hoo.

Now I don't know how, the record's not too clear
But Mordechai, remember him?, he overhears
And tells the cops, who arrest these perps
Bigthan and Theresh, a couple of twerps.

It's over so quick, and you know what's rotten,
No reward for Morty. And it's all forgotten.

Meanwhile, the villain gets appointed Prime Minister.
Just the wrong job for a Shmo so sinister
His first decree? Everyone in town
Must now bow down and scrape the ground.

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

But Mordechai, will only bow to GOD,
Not to some puffbag, ragtag clod
The bad guy steams and screams and shrieks
But Morty shrugs, and the villain freaks.

It's sad–
That cad–
feels had–
He's mad–
He opens up a can of super-bad
He sings the blues. He blows a fuse.
And makes the king say, "Kill all Jews!"

Lots are cast, a day's selected
And everyone's walking around all dejected
Till a light bulb flashes in Morty's bean
And he runs to his niece, "Hey! You're the queen.
Tell the king he's got to intervene."
But Esther, she's knows if she makes the scene
Without a signed — sealed invitation
The king'll go nuts and yell "Decapitation!"

But this girl's got guts. She plans a big party
Invites the King and Mister Smarty!

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

Delighted he's invited, You-Know-Who leaves court
Swaggering home has words with Mort.
Angered to a tizzy, rigs a hangman's noose.
"Tomorrow with the sunrise, I'm kicking his caboose."

Nightfall. Starlight. The king can't sleep.
"Read to me. Calm my mind. Nothing very deep."
Then he learns that Mordechai never was rewarded
"He saved my life? I never knew. Why wasn't this reported?"

Then Mr. Evil, hanging out, hears his king say, "Nu?
"I want to honor such a man, I wonder what to do."

Now this is where the story turns, the butter churns, the biscuit burns
This is where the plot gets thick, the pulse gets quick, and here's the kick
Mr. Repulsive thinks the king means him.
"Of course,
you'll want to dress a horse,
in jewels and in your robes of gold
Parade this man through town. Behold,
You'll want all men to show respect
For him, your most revered subject

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

"Si Si senor" says the royal dunce
"That's a great idea. We must do it at once.
Tomorrow at dawn you will take my steed
My robes of gold, and you shall lead
A cavalcade with Mordechai sitting pretty
Up and down the streets of my capital city."

The scoundrel was angry. He cussed and spat.
He jumped up and down on his three-cornered hat.
Not Mordechai! I meant me. I'm the one.
But the king had spoken. And here's the fun:

The next day as they paraded- through the hood,
The bad guy's daughter thought I'll do some good.
And thinking she was spilling stuff on Mordechai's head
Dropped stinky smelly sewage on her father instead.

But the King still said that death for all the Jews would be just fine
So Esther guessed her time had come and said, "I'll change his mind"
She told him Hebrew homies were her very own crowd
"I have chosen to expose and I'll shout it out loud.
I am a Jew and the murderous plan
Is a twisted, evil scheme from a twisted, evil man."

So the Jews were saved,
and the bad guy hung
On the gallows he built to see Mordechai swung

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

That's the story of Purim, an old story, and yet,
We party today so we don't forget,
That in every life, God's in the scene
>From brave Mordechai to Esther the Queen.
And when times get tough and rough and grim…..
You should never, never, ever, give up or give in.

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It's a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don't sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It's a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

A Dr. Seuss Purim Shpiel
by Dana Baruch and Robbi Sherwin
www.RobbiSherwin.com and www.sababamusic.com
© 1998 all rights reserved

Sh’ma yeladim and hear us well
For now is the story of Purim to tell.
It took place in Shushan so long, long ago.
Now off to Persia we all will go.

In this beautiful kingdom ruled a king
A king with no brain, who’d think such a thing?
He spent all his days and his nights having fun
Parading his wealth in the warm Persian sun.

A queen named Vashti was his loyal wife
She promised to love him all of her life.
She promised, that is, until he did ask
For her to perform an unthinkable task.

At his grandest of parties the king did command
Queen Vashti dance for royal men of the land.
"I am Not your servant, and dance I will Not!"
Vashti refused the king’s sexist plot.

For Vashti, you see, was not known as a fibber
She was, in fact, history’s first women’s libber.
Vashti was banished - away she did go.
Where did she go? That we do not know.

In this fair kingdom lived also the Jews
Who could not practice the religion they choosed
No Torah, no Challah, no Matzah Ball soup
For a villain named Haman had started a coup.

"Bow down to me now", cruel Haman did say
"For I am an important man of the day."
"I’m the King’s right-hand man - I rule all that I see
If you don’t bow down now, you will cease to be!!!"

Meanwhile back at the palace grand
An announcement went out throughout the land
A new queen to be chosen in an unusual way
In a beauty contest held the very next day.

All the maidens of the land were forced to appear
From near and from far, from far and from near
One such maiden had brains and had grace
Esther was her name…Such a pretty face!

Encouraged by her Uncle (or was it cousin?) Mordechai
"I beg you dear Esther, this you MUST try"
"With your brains and your beauty YOU he would choose
"Go, go, go, go! "Comb your hair. Wear nice shoes!"

"Besides that my dear, with your grace and your charm
You will blow them away. You’ll be on King Achashverosh’s arm!"
Unsure of herself but willing to go
Because she loved her Uncle so
She entered the contest
But said, "Uncle dear
Promise me that you’ll always stay near."

The contest was held - They came one and all
And Esther of course was the Queen of the ball.
Though Achashverosh chose her and she was now queen
There was one rotten rule she had not foreseen.

Under penalty of death she had to obey
The following rule in an unbending way:
Her new husband commanded she could only see him
When HE chose to see her and on HIS whim

So now back to Haman, that cruel crusty fellow
At the top of his lungs he continued to bellow:
"Bow down, bow down NOW I command!
Or great harm will come to you in this land."

Mordechai, of course, refused to obey
"I bow only to G-D to my last dying day!"
Haman’s face turned red with anger and hate
"I’ll get you my pretty If it’s the last breath I take!!" (Cackle cackle cackle)

Mordechai turned his back, and others did follow
As for Haman, well, his pride he had to swallow
“That Jew, Mordechai has ruined my heinous plot
Because of this affront I will have to draw lots

The straw that I pick, the one that comes nigh
Is the day that the Jews of Persia shall die!”

Into his three-cornered hat - he did cast
All of the dates - the future, the past
The lot that he picked was the 13th of Adar
"Make ready the gallows! Adar is not far."

Right after Haman he did pester
Went Mordechai to see Queen Esther.
At the palace gate, two guards he did broach
Plotting to kill King Achashverosh.

Brave Mordy protected his king and his land
By revealing the plot in the palace grand
His loyalty and his brains gave him the upper hand.

The king in his chamber that evening did read
Of Mordechai’s loyalty in the Book of Good Deeds
With the smallest of brains, the king thinked and he thinked
"Who is this Mordechai who saved me from the brink?
Who, who, who is this man who foiled the guards’ plan?
I must reward him - send for Haman!"

A question to Haman Achashverosh did pose:
"How should I honor a man who has been on his toes
Who has saved my kingdom through heroic deeds
Without a single thought to his own needs?"

Haman, thinking this hero was he
For saving the kingdom from the Jews for the king
Pompously swelled with excitement and greed
He knew the king would his words heed:

"I think my dear king no reward is too great
Give him diamonds and jewels—a house by the lake"
"Fabulous clothing and all of the best
Let him ride the king’s horse on your next birthday fest!"

"Make it so, dear Haman, loyal right hand man
Bring forth Mordechai the Jew…this is my command!"
"Instruct all my tailors, my jewelers my builders
To spare no sheckles, no rubles, or guilders
Call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men
To honor this Jew again and again!

Haman astounded, speechless at best
Felt his anger spread from his feet to his chest
Could it be that this man who refused to bow down
Must now be honored all through the town?

Seizing the moment, the opportunity here,
Modechai to Esther did appear
Using his wits and Oh, so clever brain
Mordy made history, now Esther has fame.

"You must risk your life and go to the king
And tell him about this heinous thing
That Haman is planning the Jews will all die
You must go brave Esther…this you MUST try.

"But cousin (or Uncle)," she said - trembling with fear
“Without his permission, I cannot go near
It could be my life - I am so afraid.”
But Morty replied: "You can do this, BABE."

"Use your brains and your charm and your prettiest skirt
And your shaina punim…What could that hurt!"

So, Esther swallowed her fear,
And she calmed her nerves
She went after this task
With Vim and with Verve

At a party given that very same night
She walked into the banquet, trembling with fright.
Although shocked to see her, the King did beckon
"I’ll see her, I’ll see her…It’s fine, I reckon."

"Dear husband." she said, "I’ve gotten some news
So horribly horrible that I did choose
To come un-summoned to be by your side
You must listen to me - After all, I’m your bride!!"

Risking her life Esther told him the story
Of Haman’s dastardly plan—Evil and Hoary
Esther, still trembling explained to her mate:
"My lord, at the risk of sealing my fate
I must tell you something that to you may be news…
Someone is planning to kill all the Jews!"

“This includes Mordechai, And all of his kin
And in this category, you must put ME in.
For you see, I am Jewish, but so loyal to you
Please don’t hurt my people…Please don’t hurt the Jews.

I fear my dear husband, unless you act with your heart
I, too, will die on the 13th of Adar.”

Thinking the thoughts a king would sure think
(That his loyal wife deserveth a mink)
He called for his henchman…His Number Two
To question again—what should he do
In order to save his wife and her kin
Haman of course, slunk right in.

"Esther, dear Esther, tell Haman your fear
Don’t be afraid—Tell him my dear."

"Okay, here goes nothing," said Esther inside.
She looked straight at Haman, and summoned her pride
"You wicked wicked man…How dare you pretend
That you are loyal to my king to the end?

You who did plot to destroy all the Jews
Also will kill ME Whom the king did choose!
For I too am Jewish, you hateful old coot!"
"Turn around," said the king…”I give you the boot!

I sentence you now to the gallows you built
Not a single drop of Jewish blood shall be spilt!
Pack up your belongings but don’t go far
On the gallows you’ll be swinging on the 13th of Adar!!!"

The moral of the story, Yeladim, you now know
Is to honor G-D and all people wherever you go.
To stand up and speak out for all that is right
And to you Chag Sameach…Laila Tov, and good night.

The Eats!
Purim has one very famous food linked to it, and that is Hamentashn. They originated as a German pastry called Mohn Taschen, meaning "poppy seed pockets." Who knows, maybe somewhere along the way someone thought it would be fun to create Haman's pockets and named them, hamentashn. The triangular shape may also remind us of Haman's 3 cornered hat. In Israel, they are called "Oznei Haman" meaning Haman's ears.

Here is my family's recipe for Hamantashn. B'teyavon!

Barbara Kline's Hamentashn, passed on from Caroline Poliakoff

Cookie dough
4 eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup oil
3 tsp baking powder
4 1/2 C flour
1 tsp salt
1/3C orange juice1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 orange rind finely grated

Mix all ingredients together. You have to work the dough quickly, as it is soft and seems to stick to the surface easily. Divide into four rounded clumps, wrap with Saran Wrap and chill at least 3 hours or overnight (overnight is best).

Mixed Fruit Filling
20 oz can crushed pineapple
29 oz can sliced peaches
1/2 lb dates
1/2 lb dried apricots
1/2 lb dried prunes
1 C sugar (or 3/4 Cup if you don't like it too sweet)

Chop all the fruit and place into a large pot with the fruit juice from the canned fruit. Bring to a boil. Then add the sugar, a bit at a time. Simmer for around 2 hours until fruit is very soft and blended well. Keep an eye on it to make sure the bottom doesn't burn. Add a little water if mixture becomes too dry. Cool.

To assemble the Hamantashen

1. preheat the oven to 375. Lightly oil cookie sheets.

2. Take one piece of dough out at a time and then only work with 1/2 of that dough at a time. You have to move quickly or the dough will become to sticky. Put the remaining dough back in the refrigerator. Sprinkle plenty of dough onto your counter and with a light hand, roll dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Add more flour to the rolling pin and the counter as you go to prevent sticking. Cut out rounds using a biscuit cutter or 3″ glass (flour the rim of the glass to make a clean cut). Put a teaspoonful of the filling in the center of each round. Lift the edges from 3 points and pinch together to form a triangle. Pinch the edges again to seal tightly and prevent the filing from leaking out.

3. Place the hamantaschen on the cooking sheet and bake 2-30 minutes.

All around the world people are preparing other special foods for Purim. Check out the wealth of Jewish recipes, especially for Purim, at the *Cyber-Kitchen*.

http://www.cyber-kitchen.com/rfcj/category.cgi?category=PURIM